REVIEW: MONSTERS VS ALIENS 3D

MONSTERS VS ALIENS 3D is DREAMWORKS ANIMATION STUDIOS tent-pole picture of 2009. Like any big tent-pole, MONSTERS is aiming for the same heights as past DREAMWORKS successes (KUNG FU PANDA, SHREK) but sadly comes up short. As captivating the 3D is at moments and despite what appears to be an interesting premise (a hodge-podge group of monsters fighting an unstoppable alien force) MONSTERS can't overcome it's stale script and obvious sense of humor.

The voice cast stars REESE WITHERSPOON as SUSAN - who's struck by a meteorite on her wedding day and transformed into giant version of herself (GINORMICA) and endowed with super-strength. The meteorite contained high quantities of QUANTONIUM (the names don't get anymore creative, if you're curious) which happens to be the most powerful element in the universe and one that is hotly pursued by the alien GALLAXHAR. GALLAXHAR (voiced by RAINN WILSON from NBC'S THE OFFICE) sends out his death-squad of robots in hopes of extracting the QUANTONIUM from GINORMICA to rule the galaxy.



MONSTERS assumes the audience will simply believe in the above circumstances without (and maybe even less) exposition than I've provided here. And it's not a bad instinct on DREAMWORKS part to think audiences will believe whatever they put on screen simply because its on screen, but in order for those types of pictures to be successful, the audience needs some type of device to carry the picture. Emotional attachment to the characters, interesting characters, humor, action... anything, really. And thats the biggest failure of MONSTERS, there just isn't anything there for the audience to attach themselves too.

Sure, we're given the traditional crack-pot saviour squad: B.O.B. (the BLOB for lack of a better word) is voiced by the increasingly tired SETH ROGEN. DR. COCKROACH is a mad-scientist genius forgettably voiced by a usually captivating HUGH LAURIE from FOX'S HOUSE. WILL ARNETT (ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT) rounds out the crew as THE MISSING LINK - or really - THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON. Also is a 300 foot towering insect by the name of INSECTOSAURUS. We're supposed to believe these "monsters" have been under top secret lock and key for the better part of a century - unbenounced to anyone (including most of the government) despite their highly publicized reigns of terror (INSECTOSAURUS, for instance, demolished TOKYO sometime in the 50s).



It isn't just how poorly MONSTERS supports its own universe, but how predictable the rest of the elements are. There isn't a conversation between characters that anyone over 10 years of age couldn't finish by guessing. The script misses so directly in points that it resorts to making fun of itself just to save face. Of course the script only sinks that low is when it's not desperately using any pop reference it can to grab a laugh (DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION wasn't even off limits). Not too mention MONSTERS rushes the set-up with such pace that we're never given a chance to care about our characters - a statement that may falsely suppose the characters on screen are worth caring about.

The 3D was the best I've seen to date, but still distracting in parts. The big set pieces of the film (an industry term used to described action sequences as an FYI) are hurt most by this, but it doesn't help that they are confusingly engineered and unfold in thoughtless geography. Adding to the trouble is that MONSTERS doesn't have any attention to scale. SUSAN is only a few stories tall in one scene and the next she's grappling the GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE as if it were made of toothpicks and dental floss.



Still, the audience I saw it with gave the picture a round of applause, proving that it reached both kids and adults alike. This should crush the box office for a week or two, then go off the map entirely by JUNE. When I returned home to write the review, I noticed that DISNEY PIXAR'S THE INCREDIBLES was on television and it took all of three minutes of watching that film to be reminded of how animated pictures should be made. See this only if you're child demands it - and even then, try to trick them into seeing something else - or waiting for DISNEY PIXAR'S UP - which hits MAY 29TH and will champion the rest of the summer.