I'll admit it. This week's choice is a selfish one. I didn't want to roll my sleeves up and get dirty. I wanted to forget star power, script writing and plot development. I wanted a picture that filled in where the popcorn ran out. Where throngs of people shouted and clapped when the bad guys bit the dirt. I wanted to be wowed by pixels without having to pay attention to plot. So what better vehicle to do so in than FAST AND FURIOUS? None, as it would turn out.
FAST AND FURIOUS, helmed by newcomer JUSTIN LIN, did everything a sequel to a mindless action flick should do: take what what worked in the original (a medley of over the top car action and sexual innuendo) and rev it to the max. Now, for those curious about FAST AND FURIOUS' plot (although I'd be surprised to learn that was the reason anyone went to see this), it's pretty simple. Old rivals TORETTO and O'CONNER, the former being the morally bound rebel (VIN DIESEL) and the latter an FBI heartthrob buster (PAUL WALKER), are forced to team up as the GOOD GUYS when a few BAD GUYS turn out to be their common enemy.
The film opens with a sharply choreographed set piece that finds TORETTO somewhere in the DOMINICAN REPUBLIC, heisting fuel tankers in a mile-a-minute rubber burning chase. It's an instant reminder that FAST AND FURIOUS sets the bar for unrealistic but wildly satisfying car chases. TORETTO displays his calm and cool demeanor, makes the score and gets the girl. After that we see that O'CONNER is also at the top his game (although on the other side of the law) as an FBI officer, chasing down an unnamed thug in a BOURNE-esque sequence. Thankfully this is the last we see of the BOURNE motivated camera direction and after sitting through some awful dialogue we get back to what makes FURIOUS so great.
And while you can't fault JUSTIN LIN for at least attempting character development, each melodramatic scene was accompanied by twangy guitar and a rumble of snickers from the audience. LIN inherited a series fueled by senseless action and whatever gratuitous sexual innuendo the current PG13 standard allow; and he needed something to break up the action. Unfortunately for LIN, he also inherited one-dimensional characters that, despite the film's claims, haven't changed since the last time they were all on screen together. But as corny and predictable as these sappy moments were (and trust me, they were pretty bad), they couldn't outweigh the sheer bliss of witnessing a four-vehicle rally of car-plosions through the packed streets of LOS ANGELES.
Don't bother paying attention to the inexplicable plot holes (which are as prominent as they are deep), just wait patiently until the hum of the engine rips through the theaters sound system; cranked so high your COCA-COLA shakes as if a T-REX was chasing you. FAST AND FURIOUS delivers on every level a gratuitous sequel should - and makes you wonder why studios even bother trying to pump plot into their action franchises. This isn't to say FURIOUS doesn't have a heart for their audience- one needs only to point to the one-liners delivered by DIESEL (caked with so much cheese it'd make the state of WISCONSIN drool) to realize this was made for the fans. Make no mistake, this picture isn't for everyone. But for those who hope that FAST AND FURIOUS is the picture they want; sexy stars wrecking sexy cars; get to a theater as fast (and safely) as you can because this will not disappoint.
