NYC VENUES: PART I

Grand Readership,

I'm somehow still trying to wrap my head around TARANTINO'S INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS. I'm not quite ready to review the picture, having only seen it once, but I at least know it was outstanding. I was making plans to see BASTERDS when I though it'd be a good idea to have a quick rundown of the movie houses in New York City. This post will be a two parter:

PART I: THE MAJOR RELEASE HOUSES

CLEARVIEW ZIEGFELD
Unquestionably, the Clearview Zeigfeld houses the city’s most robust cinematic environment, with a screen that dwarfs some IMAX venues and a capacity that rivals Radio City Music Hall. Whether its INDIANA JONES, the latest from DISNEY/PIXAR, or another timeless addition to the American film canon, the ZIEGFELD runs them all. Be sure to catch a film opening weekend, as you'll find the man who rips your ticket is a show unto himself. For the purists out there, I’ll mention they do not serve COCA COLA products, but as all good venues should, they permit you to bring whatever food/drink you wish.

AMC LOEWS KIPS BAY 15
Right at 2nd avenue and 32nd street, Kips Bay promises a verbal crowd, big screens and packed theaters. There's a nice variety to their listings, allowing you to catch either a guilty pleasure or a limited release picture. Additionally, the theater is tucked on the edges of several nice neighborhoods; where grabbing a drink before or after is a rewarding sojourn. Guiness? Paddy Reilly's. BBQ? Brother Jimmy's. A solid choice.

REGAL UNION SQUARE STADIUM 14
Nestled beneath Union Square, expect throngs of NYU students among an already crowded residential area. Purchasing tickets in advance and getting to the theater early are usually requisites for this venue. Still, one cannot deny the excitement of the neighborhood, or complain about the plethora of show times. Frankly though, the best part about this theater is it's accessibility, on top of two major subway arteries (N,R,Q,W & 4,5,6) and along a line (L) that hits every other one.

REGAL BATTERY PARK STADIUM 11
Not a thoughtless theater, but usually an empty one. Battery Park Stadium 11 is clean, bright and steep, but you can't help feeling as though you're in an empty planetarium instead of a picture house. However, it's right near the lower Manhattan promenade - a park running against the Hudson river and stretching from the tip of the island to the George Washington bridge. Consider only if it makes sense.

AMC LOEWS LINCOLN SQUARE 13
Opening in 1994, the LINCOLN SQUARE 13 is not only a behemoth of a theater, but represents the gold standard for how every subsequent urban multiplex would be designed and constructed. The theater's list of highlights (the most powerful IMAX screen in the region, among others) is surpassed only by it's meticulous attention to detail (most notably in the ornate elephant molding found in the presentation auditorium). And if I had to recommend one theater in all the city, it may be this one.

AMC LOEWS 34TH STREET 14
For one reason or another, I feel as though my affection for the 34th Street 14 is in truth, topical. Sure, the seating, sound and projection are on par - and there's clearly been some thought to developing a tone for the theater. But the popcorn is never great. The neighborhood can be overpriced. And it's an extra flight up for the bathroom. That isn't exactly sweetening the deal. Despite these shortcomings, I've enjoyed several pictures here, including the second coming of the blockbuster, THE DARK KNIGHT.

Thanks for having a read. Tune in next post as I tackle the independent theater circuit.

REVIEW: FUNNY PEOPLE

Those who know me outside the distressed borders here at X RETICENT REVIEWS know that JUDD APATOW isn’t my favorite. In fact, I cannot think of a more vexing contemporary comedy king. His past two pictures, THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN and KNOCKED UP were smash hits. And anyone would agree they deserved every penny alongside every praising review. VIRGIN was explicit, but strangely tender. KNOCKED UP was outrageous, but ultimately comforting.

And it was less the success and popularity of the pictures that annoyed me, and more that APATOW himself was receiving the same accolades a young SCORCESES or even TODD PHILLIPS would receive. Without question, it’s difficult for me to dislike such a pop-culture commodity (I mean, who can resist EFFRON in 17 AGAIN?), but someone has to. Someone has to say both pictures were 40 minutes too long. That KNOCKED UP’s script was one-dimensional, at best. That VIRGIN was too frustrating to be practical. And that the seemingly genuine “realities” APATOW crafts are rarely believable enough to support the dramatic storylines they’re packaged with.



And look, I’m not going to lie – I laugh at APATOW comedies. How could you not when they're littered so richly with talent? I’ve laughed so hard beer sprays through my nose and pretzels shoot from my mouth like confetti – and I’ve done it with anyone from my friends to my father. It’s not that APATOW’S films aren’t gratifying on a humorous level, but rather, are never without a predictable resolution. It’s as if on cue a moral environment erupts in each story, bubbling around the characters like foam around dancers in the meatpacking district. It’s this whisking me away from the sordid lives of his characters and into a world of calm reason that makes me want to hurl popcorn at the screen whilst verbally demanding more dick jokes.

Still, for some reason, I didn’t hate FUNNY PEOPLE. If you missed the trailer (which spelled out the plot with the clarity an English bulldog understands), ADAM SANDLER plays GEORGE – a Hollywood comedy star handed a grim prognosis on his recently discovered blood disease. SETH ROGEN stars as IRA – a struggling stand-up comic hired strictly as GEORGE’S assistant, and not hired as his friend (a relationship point whose explanation became as explicit as it was needless).



Together GEORGE and IRA sift through the weeks writing jokes, performing shows and insulting one another out of boredom. As GEORGE’S condition worsens, he re-kindles a relationship with his once-love LAURA, played by LESLIE MANN (who in real life is married to JUDD APATOW… for those curious). LAURA has feelings for GEORGE, but is in a rocky marriage to CLARKE – played spot on by ERIC BANA. Soon GEORGE learns the experimental medication is working, the immediacy of GEORGE and LAURA’s feelings for one anther is pushed and things get hot.

Running around during all this is IRA – who occasionally seeks council with his two roommates LEO KOENIG and MARK TAYLOR JACKSON. LEO is a struggling stand-up comic one step ahead of IRA and is played with surprising competence by JONAH HILL (although the fat jokes wore thin midway through). MARK is a well-paid actor on a cheese-ball NBC comedy series, and is played by JASON SCHWARTZMAN; a performance that is (sadly) perfect only in moments.



Sometimes that’s the most frustrating. Throughout FUNNY PEOPLE, there are glimpses of genius: a camera flawlessly capturing a stand-up routine with ease, clarity and humor. But these peeks at perfection are packed between far too many mushy montages. FUNNY PEOPLE got me to think about some if it’s jokes, but never demanded I think about the characters. My genuine hope is that APATOW remedies his tendency to over expose the emotional barometer of his main players. I think FUNNY PEOPLE is a step in the right direction. See in theaters only if you’d like – otherwise this picture is a great view with a handful of pals and a stocked refrigerator.

SUMMER REVIEW - JULY 2009

Finally back behind the keyboard after taking a break for a few weeks. It's the end of JULY and for the most part the bulk of the summer giants have made their footprint on the box office and are headed for the showers. Even though 2009 has been a solid growth year thus far (especially considering 2008 witnessed THE DARK KNIGHT's towering success), a surprising number of 2009's top twenty grossers have already hit DVD shelves, a natural response by the studios to combat piracy (sounds familiar... http://tinyurl.com/cpc7gh ).

And now that WATCHMEN and FAST AND FURIOUS BluRay discs are floating around, it takes away the appeal of the summer flick. It used to be about going to the pictures in the summer, just because it was the one time of the year you actually had to go out to the theater and spend a bit of the grocery money on popcorn. Anymore, it's late-JULY, you can rent the MAY blockbuster playing Tetris while having a conference call with Denver.

SUMMER 2009 was also without a picture everyone loved. Sure, the numbers will tell you it was TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN, but woe be an instance you find two consecutive people who enjoyed it. STAR TREK was a crowd pleaser, no doubt. A bona fide hit, nearly an instant classic... but that doesn't make it a classic. DISNEY'S/PIXAR delivered another remarkable picture in UP!, although I'm eager for return to glory a la THE INCREDIBLES, or even TOY STORY 2. And THE HANGOVER came within inches of beating them all despite having access to one quarter the market size.

It proved to be THE HANGOVER - a gritty, raunchy and hilarious adult comedy that had both studio executives as well as audiences turning their heads and grinning ear to ear. BORAT, err, BRUNO! saw moderate success, but nothing thirty some odd pictures didn't do better. And along with the smash-hit came the smash-bomb: TERMINATOR SALVATION - it's blandness as a film prevailed only by it's disastrous performance.

Other pictures from 2009 that aren't my favorite but merit mention include HARRY POTTER, TAKEN, and PAUL BLART. Upcoming will be GI JOE, INGLORIOUS BASTERDS, FUNNY PEOPLE and a slew of unmentionable garbage. JOE looks messy, BASTERDS (which is TARANTINO'S latest) didn't get OCTOBER placement (suspect), but FUNNY PEOPLE should do well. And I'd be a liar if I didn't say I'm drooling for ROLAND EMMERICH'S upcoming return to disaster filmmaking in 2012 this NOVEMBER... is winter the new blockbuster season? We'll have to wait and see what AVATAR tells us come DECEMBER, for it's the gold-welded handiwork of KING JAMES CAMERON.

Back to FUNNY PEOPLE, it's in my scope for the next review. I'll do my best to get back to the weekly previews - thanks all as always for swinging by for the read. It's what your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man would do.

REVIEW: THE HANGOVER

Grand Readership,

Beginning with TODD PHILLIPS' OLD SCHOOL (2003) - a film that not only set the bar for adult comedy, but also rocket launched the comedy careers of several young stars. Strangely, I first saw OLD SCHOOL at a sneak preview, saw the picture alongside a riotous university crowd, and then stormed outside cheering and looking to party. And while I no longer follow such a pattern after seeing an excellent comedy, THE HANGOVER is an exceptional reminder of who's in charge of the genre.



PHILLIPS' success in OLD SCHOOL (and ROAD TRIP, for that matter) paved the way for such pictures as the well-received STARSKY AND HUTCH and the forgettable SCHOOL FOR SCOUNDRELS. With THE HANGOVER, PHILLIPS combines what works best: a talented young cast and talented filmmaking. And having just seen the picture as a sneak peek here in NYC, I will attest that a thirsty crowd was drenched in satisfaction.

THE HANGOVER finds four men on a bachelor party in VEGAS, hell-bent on a having one last bender together. BRADLEY COOPER leads as PHIL, the best friend to JUSTIN BARTHA'S DOUG. The other best friend, STU, is played by ED HELMS - who many will recognize as ANDY BERNARD from NBC'S THE OFFICE. Finally, ZACH GALIFIANAKIS (say that three times fast and WARNER BROS will give you the keys to their next failed blockbuster) is the estranged but hilarious brother-in-law to groom, ALAN. Maybe on paper this seems like a lot, but PHILLIPS guides us swiftly and easily through each of their relationships, adding a necessary fabric and dimension to the picture.



Perhaps OLD SCHOOL succeeded by the same function: among the three male leads in MITCH, FRANK and BERNARD (LUKE WILSON, WILL FERRELL and VINCE VAUGHN respectively) was a weave of seamless relationships. Each character related to the next in a unique way, on top of providing a unique relationship when the three were together. Let’s face it, pictures with this level of detail and class are rarely found in the adult comedy genre.

THE HANGOVER is set up as a chase film. The bachelor crew wakes up to a missing groom and no memory of the last twelve hours. They now have roughly one day to solve the mystery, retrieve the groom and deliver him to his wedding. And because it's structured in that way, it'd be difficult to discuss any of the plot points without taking away from the picture's enjoyment. Suffice to say, the story that unfolds is remarkable, but it will be how thoughtful and effortless the story is told that will keep the curious coming and sending them off with smiles.



At this point, it's only fair to go on record saying this comedy is adult in nature, and frankly, may be second only to BORAT (although if you stay for THE HANGOVER’s credits, that’s questionable) in terms of graphic nudity, language and adult content. If you can let it go, you are in for heck of a treat. Funny, having recently taken a friend of mine on a four man bachelor party in VEGAS (surprisingly, this is true) – and NOT having gone upside-down nuts, THE HANGOVER indeed captures something I’ve only known in VEGAS. What that is, I haven’t the foggiest. Here’s to hoping the picture tops $100M (which I think it will) and studios are taking notes on what audiences are really enjoying.

FRIDAY - MAY 29

Grand Readership,

I have been looking forward to the weekend of MAY 29 for well over a year, and DISNEY PIXAR'S UP has teased me as far back as WALL-E. And that it's released in the same weekend as SAM RAIMI'S return to horror in DRAG ME TO HELL makes it seem too good to be true. I imagine UP to become the second highest grossing film of the summer and year, behind only MICHAEL BAY'S TRANSFORMERS. JAMES CAMERON'S highly anticipated AVATAR will challenge both come December, but will only have one week of release in 2009. If you're headed to the theater, be sure to see UP.

Enjoy!

UP (DIR. PETE DOCTER/BOB PETERSON (III))

Although it's impossible to have a house as richly talented as PIXAR, one would imagine the dream team tandem of PETE DOCTER/BOB PETERSON (III)) to be one of the best. I won't bother listing their successes, but rather will share a short anecdote: UP is widely rumored to be the last of the "original" ideas put on the table at PIXAR'S founding creative meeting. As if the picture didn't need any additional hype, what, between it's universal praise and breathtaking appeal, we're left with a sinking wonder if this will the last of the great DISNEY/PIXAR creations.


DRAG ME TO HELL (SAM RAIMI)

As most of the geek community is well aware that DIRECTOR SAM RAIMI (SPIDER-MAN TRILOGY) got his start in grassroots horror with the success of his BRUCE CAMPELL films, they will be able to smile as millions flock to theaters to see a genre rebooted from the master himself. OK, DRAG ME TO HELL isn't that special. But for the horror fans and geeks who don't want to see STAR TREK for the eighth time or see PIXAR make another smash by the same count, this is a solid choice.